* . - breaking apart .

[ryleigh malese valmont.]

----- for only being sixteen, ryleigh had a lot of best friends. i mean, her two best friends she'd known since they were children. she's been best friends with trevor for as long as she can remember, and aspen as well. but then, of course, there was kenya. kenya was ryleigh's twin sister, and without kenya, ryleigh knew she wouldn't be whole. ryleigh only lived with her sister for a short time. when they were small children, they lived together in a foster home after being put into the system by their mother. but, as trouble making as ryleigh was, she was worse when with her twin sister. so they removed ryleigh from the home, and put her into another one - one with a woman named ellie, who was the closest thing ryleigh ever had to a mother. kenya and ryleigh still kept in contact - pretty close, to be honest. they'd talk a lot, and in some ways, they were best friends. even if they didn't see eachother much. ryleigh felt very close to kenya, which wasn't a surprise, considering they were identical twins. the only thing that ryleigh knew of that could distinguish them was a birthmark on ryleigh's chest that kenya didn't have. of course, kenya probably had birthmarks that ryleigh didn't have, too.

----- ryleigh lived with ellie from when she was about five years old until seven months ago. about two years ago now, ellie was diagnosed with cancer. she fought it for over a year, but it took her live seven months ago. where did that leave ryleigh ? well, it left her without her motherly figure, for one. it landed her back in the system, and soon enough, with a man by the name of gregory taylor. ryleigh hated greg, with all her heart. of course, she had a pretty legitiment reason to hate him. at first, she just felt a little uncomfortable. he gave off a weird, kind of creepy vibe when she first met him. he made her uncomfortable, even being in the same room with him - and this was when she was with her social worker. but, it wasn't exactly her choice who she lived with. and she certainly didn't want to live in a group home again, she'd lived in one before and it wasn't that fun. kids were mean, but when there aren't enough adults to dicipline them - they're vicious.

----- so sixteen year old ryleigh ended up living with greg. at first, everything seemed fine. sure, everything was a little awkward, but it always was with a new foster home the first few weeks. he was kind of a bitter person, he didn't talk to her much, and she was fine with that. she was silently mourning for ellie, and she needed silence to do that, right ? she liked it that way. she didn't want to make small talk. but on the night of the championship basketball game for auburn high school, ryleigh came home late . she wouldn't go to those things unless she had to, but she did have to. she was part of the dance team and had been since her freshman year of high school. and, the dance team preformed at almost every sports event. so after the game, when auburn won, everyone was really excited. the team decided to have a party at one of the team's starter's house, and ryleigh went with the rest of the team. she knew she shouldn't, she knew that it wasn't really her crowd and that greg would be worried or angry or whatever he would be. he was responsible for her and she told him she'd be home around ten and that turned into two.

----- it wasn't as if when ryleigh came home, she was stumbling and fumbling to open the door. she wasn't drunk, she hadn't had even a sip of alcohol. but when she stepped inside the house, it felt different to her, and when she turned around after closing the door, gregory was standing several feet away from her, looking pretty angry. he started yelling at her about how she was supposed to be home at ten, how she was probably off fucking a bunch of guys because she was a whore, that kind of stuff. and he smacked her right across the face, then again, and ryleigh didn't realize what was happening. tears slid down her face, and that was it. he told her to go to bed. a few hours later, she was laying in bed, asleep. she woke up to hear the door creak open, as it was an old house, and to see gregory standing over her. she didn't understand what he was doing, at first, she thought she was dreaming. he pulled her out from under her covers, so she was laying in an awkward position on her bed. she tried to move herself back, sleep fogging her mind, but he pushed her back and her head hit the wall. and that's when she realized she wasn't dreaming. but when she figured that out, he was already on top of her.

----- so what was ryleigh malese valmont doing tonight ? well, at eleven forty five in the evening, she was doing absolutely nothing. she was sitting on her bed, her back agained the wall on the far side of her bed. she knew she should have showered and been in bed by now, but she didn't want to shower until greg was asleep. at this time, she was pretty sure he was, so she slid off of her matress and grabbed her bathrobe from where it hung on the towel rack on the other side of her room. she draped it over her arm and began walking toward the bathroom, her whole body protesting as she was insanely sore from her 'fall down the stairs'. it wasn't as if she had actually fallen down the stairs. that was just a lie she told her sister and brother, her friends, so they didnt worry. and she had to lie, otherwise.. well, how else would she have gotten these bruises ? she shuddered a little as she closed the bathroom door, locking it after her. after turning the shower on for the water to warm up, she stripped her clothes off and frowned at her refelction in the mirror. her arms - her face. she had too many. it was only because she had talked back to him last night, though. she'd gone to visit noah, ellie's daughter, who's been like her younger sister for as long as she's lived with ellie. but ryleigh had come home an hour later than greg had told her to be home. noah's father dropped her off, as noah now lived with him. but when greg had accused her of not actually being with noah, of fucking trevor or her teacher or something, she snapped back at him and sarcasticly said something about how she was fucking a teacher, and he believed it, until ryleigh told him she wasn't serious, then he just got angry that she had talked back and, he beat her until she lost consciousness. and of course, later that night, as every night, he came into her bedroom.

----- as ryleigh stepped into the shower, the hot water burned her skin, but in a good way. it made the surface of it tingle, kind of like an itch. she lifted her face up and pointed it to the shower head and water covered it, stinging the gash on her lip and the bruises around her face. she loved showering, but she hated afterward. because there was always a chance that greg would come into her room and.. well, it had happened before.

----- after her shower, ryleigh pulled her bathrobe on and dropped her clothes in the dirty laundry hamper. she quietly switched the light off and opened the door, tiptoeing across the hallway and into her room. she shut her door after that, but her whole body froze when she turned around and saw greg standing next to her bed, holding her cell phone. he flared his nostrils and furrowed his brow as he looked at her, and ryleigh swore that her heart stopped beating from fear. " trevor says he wants to see you . " greg said, his voice low and rumbling. it made ryleigh's stomach churn. " uhh.. well.. " she stuttered, not knowing what to say. " you've been fucking him . " his voice had grown louder. ryleigh was frozen, she wasn't going to talk back this time. she wouldn't let herself. " you have ! you little slut ! " he yelled, chucking her cell phone at her. it hit her in the chest and she let it drop to the floor, not caring anymore. she swallowed, her throat felt dry and swollen, like she couldn't even talk. the way he talked about her, the way he talked about trevor, it made ryleigh angry. she shook her head, " i'm not a slut. and i'm not fucking him. i don't know what's up your ass, i don't know what makes you think ridiculous things like that, but i'm not. " she spoke softly at the beginning, but her voice grew louder and stronger, and she became more mad. once the last word had left her lips, she regretted speaking at all, because she could see the anger that flared across his face. he stepped forward, wrapping his right hand around her neck and chin, and lifted her closer to him before slamming her away, into the wall, and she slid to the ground. " don't talk back to me, little bitch. " he said as he walked to her and kicked her as hard as he could in the ribs. she made a squealing noise as he did so, and she heard a crack.

----- she felt her own tears dribble down her cheeks and into her mouth, into the cut and it stung. it stung her eye even more, don't ask how, but it hurt her black eye. he picked her up and threw her into the wall again, yelling things that blurred together for her. on the ground, he kicked her face, over and over, everything seemed to melt together for her and it wasn't one blow after another, it was all just one huge throbbing pain. she felt herself being picked up, though she couldn't see much, and she could feel her bathrobe peeled off of her skin, because she was suddenly cold and goosebumps rose on her skin. she could feel everything now, it was like it was magnified, worse than before. it wasn't one pain, now, it was just a million. and now, she couldn't do anything but be helpless.

----- it seemed like a lifetime before greg finally pulled himself off of ryleigh,instantly taking away part of the feeling of being crushed. she lay naked now, on her bed, and she slid off of it, holding her knees. greg kicked her in the side of the stomach, and she fell over onto her side, and began bawling. he kicked her again, called her a name that ryleigh couldn't even make out, and stumbled out of her bedroom in the dark. for what seemed like hours, ryleigh lay there, curled up in a ball on her wooden floor. she just cried, shudders running through her body every few seconds, her stomach lurching from the stress, the disgust. finally, she sat up. her body quivered and she kept her arms wrapped around her legs, feeling too exposed if she didn't. she slowly stood up, feeling uncomfortable naked in her own bedroom. she grabbed her bathrobe and wrapped it around her, her stomach lurching again. she went into her top drawer in the dresser by her bed and pulled out a pair of sweatpants, a comfortable shirt and underwear. she got dressed as quickly as physically possible, scared to death that greg was going to walk in on her again. when she was dressed, she grabbed her phone from the floor and checked to see what trevor had texted her. and, just like greg had said, there was a text from trevor saying he wanted to meet up with her. tears ran down her cheeks again as she dropped her phone on her bed. she was sick of this. so instead of crawling under her covers like she was supposed to, she grabbed a pair of shoes and pulled them on, running as fast as she could out of the house.

----- she wasn't quite sure what she expected to do now. she was out of the house, she was safe. so she just started walking. she walked for what seemed like hours, but it was probably more like a half an hour or so. she didn't know what she looked like, but it probably wasn't good. she was still shaking, uncontrolably, and she couldn't stop crying. she was gasping for air every few seconds because of it. her face right now wasn't good, at all. before tonight, she'd had a black eye, a busted lip, a bruise on her upper cheek, and a few bruises here and there on her arms. but now, her black eye seemed even worse, her bruise on her upper cheek on the opposite side of the face was actually noticeable now - there was no way you could msis it, even in the dark. she could taste blood in her mouth and figured her lip was busted again, bleeding, or maybe her nose.. she had no idea. she knew she had finger marks on her neck from him strangling her, even if it was a short time. she could feel them. she didn't even want to look under her shirt at her ribs, scared that one would be sticking out in a very odd way, even though she knew that's not quite what happened when you broke a rib. she pressed her stomach and almost squealed at the pain, immediately pulling her hand away. but when she thought about it, it wasn't her rib that hurt, it was her wrist. had she sprained it ? oh god, who knew.

----- ryleigh didn't know where she was going until she got there. she stood in front of kenya's house, across the street. ryleigh had no idea what time it was, it could have been just midnight or three in the morning for all she knew. but ryleigh didn't care. she made her way across the street and up their front porch, ringing the doorbell and praying for her sister to be the one to answer.


----- s t a t u s - donee.
----- t a g g e d - my twinnnn, kaylaaa !
----- w o r d s - 2715 .
----- o u t f i t - this, with bruises & suchh .
----- l y r i c s - every part of me - miley cyrus . ew, ik, but il this song <3
----- n o t e s - i think i need to stop with the novels ?

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[kenya miller .]

S ^{he wasn't your average girl. The one that liked to wear pearls, the one that actually never had a care in the world. That girl could never be Kenya. First of all, she could really never afford pearls when she was little, and besides she had a very hard past and what she cared most about was anyone knowing about it. It really sucked not actually having a family to turn on when you had hard times. When she was little, she and her little sister were forced in a foster home and then the only thing that mattered to them was that they weren't seperated from each other. But you know, every wish doesn't always get granted. When the girls were just old enough to actually cause trouble, they were getting adopted. For the first few months the family couldn't handle the two of them and split them up. Kenya couldn't have been feeling worse. She was seperated from the only family that she actually had, and she was going to be stuck wiht strangers. This was the life for her, except not.}

T ^{he only good part of them getting split up was that they actually kept in touch. Even though they were miles apart from each other, they were best friends. No one or anything could ever replace Ryleigh to her at all. Yeah, she had another sibliing, but that didn't mean anything. Ryleigh was her sister, and nothing was gonna change that. Not even adoption papers. When the girls were split up, her new parents wanted her to sign a sheet that said she would change her last name and basically forget about her past. Of course she was never going to forget her past or Ryleigh but she did it for her sake. She needed a home. As she started to get older, her parents actually started to think that she had totally forgotten about Ryleigh. She didn't ask about her anymore, and she was never mad at them for stupid reasons. But what they didn't know was that they were keeping in touch , behind their backs.There was a part of her that wished she could trade places with Ryleigh. Kenya was getting too much out of this whole adoption thing, that was until Ryleigh told her that she had been adopted. Kenya couldn't have been happier. She know thought that both of the girls were headed on a right track in their lives.}

I ^{t seemed about there was a total of two things in her life that really mattered to her. Dancing, and her sister. Dancing was always her second choice against her sister. Growing up, Kenya didn't really have many friends because her family seemed to keep her hidden from the world. She never really understood. She really was living in the shadows of her older brother. They always wanted her to be like Travis, she wasn't Travis. She would never ever be him, they needed to get that through their heads. Travis knew exactly how she felt. He was her best friend since Ryleigh wasn't around. He had his other friends so she knew that she was only a sister to him. He didn't understand how much she really needed him. Travis was your typical boy in high school. He was on the football team in Dallas, star player actually. He had gotten a scholarship and their parent's couldn't have been happier for him. Kenya was always on the sidelines cheering him on, but that never seemed to matter to her parents. They wanted her to get involved in sports but they really weren't her thing. They didn't understand her passion for dancing. They actually didn't consider ir a real sport and thought only wimps really did it. They just didn't get that she was a girl not a boy. She didn't know how long it was going to take them to get it through their heads but she had a feeling it was going to go on forever. She for once wanted to do something on her own, so she looked all around town for a dance academy that she could pay for herself but she could never find one. It was to her surprise that the dance academy she had always dreamt of going to mailed her a letter asking her to participate in their summer program. It was also the year that the family was going to a camp for her brother. It hurt her inside to decline it but she knew that they would never allow her too. She spent that whole summer thinking about the biggest mistake she ever made. When she called the dance academy and told them the truth they fully understood and told her that the offer would be there next year and Kenya couldn't wait. Maybe she would finally be able to dance. She worked her but off her sophomore year in Dallas, she was committed to dancing - and all of her fellow classmates could tell. She still didn't have a lot of friends but that really didn't matter to her. Right now her number one priority was dancing.}

W ^{hen the school year was almost four months into being done Kenya and her brother got into a huge accident. The two escaped from their parents fighting and Travis said that he knew the perfect place where they could go to get away from everything. They spent about two hours there, just looking up at the stars. Both of them talked about their passions, and she mentioned about dancing. He told her that she needed to talk to Marnie and Sean about it. He was so certain that they wouldn't care, and they would give it a chance. But Kenya really wasn't sure how they would think of it. Honestly she hoped that they understood but there was a part of here that was really doubting it. When they both decided that it was time for them to go home, Travis and Kenya turned on the radio and were singing along to it. It was his favorite song, and he had it all the way up. They were laughing, singing , having a great time when she saw a light flash her eye. She screamed Travis's name and she was hit head on.}

I ^{t took about two days for her to actually wake up, and when she did she had a broken leg and a fracture wrist. The car had been servely crushed and so had both of them. When she looked around her room, she didn't notice her parents anywhere. But what she did see was her bags packed. Kenya really had no clue what that meant but she thought she was dreaming. The doctor came in right as she woke up and told her parents. They came in and yelled at her. Telling her that it was her fault that their baby had died. They then told her that they were transfering to a foster home in Dallas. Kenya was crushed but understood. She deserved it. She had killed their son. Within a matter of two months, she was adopted again by the De Fort family. She had met Chandler a few years ago, when he came in town and they became best friends. It took him a really long time to track her down again and when he did, his family adopted her. Their huge manor was located in Santa Monica, and she couldn't have been any happier. Although her leg was still broken, it meant she was closer to home. And when she came here, she met the one person that meant the most to her. Ryleigh. Everything was in it's place she thought, and she was happy. But she was also hospitalized again, her leg was injured again the last time that she was getting a transplant her parents her refused and she was left scarred for her life.}

S <sup>anta monica and her were getting along. She loved the weather, and she was actually making a lot of friends. Kenya was still injured, but she didn't really care. She was sleeping on the couch, when all of the sudden she heard a knock on her door. She limped her way over to the door, and opened it and rubbed her eyes. When she opened them, she saw Ryleigh in front of her, crying her eyes out. She was also bruised very badly on her face all that she could really do was wrap her arounds carefully around her sister, and pulled her inside. She walked her to the couch and sat down. "Tell me everything that happened."



tagged for , EVA , my long lost twin.
notes , wow, this is like my longest post.
words , 1647 , not as long as yours of course.
clothes , www.selenaonline.org/selenahq/displayimage.php?album=519&pos=0]something like this .
music , tonight i wanna cry , keith urban</sup>

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[ryleigh malese valmont.]

----- as ryleigh stood there, on the doorstep on what was now her twin sister's house, she thought. she hated being alone. it was the second thing she dreaded the most since she'd moved in with greg. the first ? you can probably guess what it is. but the reason silence, the reason being alone, was worse then most other things, was becaues when it's silent, your mind speaks louder. when you're alone, you think more. there's no one there to pull your mind off of it's track. it's like you're driving down the road, and a person walks out and stands in your way. you can't drive anymore, you have to stop. this person standing in front of you keeps you from going, they distract you. but if you're alone, there is no person. you just keep on driving. you keep driving until you have crash.

----- at this time, ryleigh was trying not to think. but you know when you try to not think about something ? your mind wants to think about it more. she knows that if she stopped trying, it was possible she could not think about it. but that was with simple stuff. at this time, the only thing on her mind was gregory. it was her bruises, the beatings, the fact that she could carry his child.. it was too much for her. right then, she almost ran off that doorstep like a dog with it's tail between it's legs. but she didn't, and that's what she didn't understand. she'd always thought she could never, ever tell anyone what greg did to her. she didn't think she could. she was pretty sure that all she was going to was cry if she tried to explain anything. and, it was bad enough that he sexually abused her, but the thought of anyone else knowing what he did to her made her want to throw up. no, scratch that, it makes her want to die.

----- now, ryleigh knew death was a harsh word. she would know that. she had lost the only mother she had, so of course she wasn't just going to use it lightly. she hadn't used the word lightly since before ellie had been diagnosed with cancer. because impending death is almost as bad as death itself. what ryleigh didn't understand was that, everyone was dying, right ? because everyone will die eventually. and your body's getting older and it's getting closer to death, which in a sense, means your dying. of course, it's obviously not the same as cancer or diseases. these just sped the whole process up. when ryleigh would cry when ellie was hospitalized, or something came up that has to do with death, ellie would tell her that she was dying, too. which confused ryleigh. ryleigh wasn't sick, but when ellie explained it to her.. everyone was dying.

----- ryleigh was thinking too hard now, remembering ellie and trying to forget gregory, and the tears still ran down her cheeks. sometimes, ryleigh swore that they were going to leave stains on her cheeks forever. she stood here in front of her sister's house when the door was slowly pulled open. ryleigh's eyes adjusted to the dark in the house until she could make out her sister's face, or what would look exactly like her own if it wasn't beaten. she felt as her sister pulled her into her arms, and ryleigh's body screamed in protest even though kenya was hardly touching ryleigh. all the sixteen year old could do was cry, and that's what she did as her sister pulled her into her house and sat her down on the couch. " tell me everything that happened . " kenya said. ryleigh was sitting kind of awkwardly on the couch, and she tried reposition herself. she set both feet flat on the ground and leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees and her hands out in front of her so she could press her face into them, which is exactly what she did. she drew in a deep breath and exhaled into them. her tears were rubbing all over her hands and her face felt hot with her palms as a barrier, the heat couldn't get away from her.

----- ryleigh shook her head. " kenya.. he.. you don't want to know .. everything .. " she said, lifting her head away from her hands to speak, only glancing briefly at her sister before pressing her face back into her hands. she felt her body begin to shake as she began sobbing again, her stomach lurching at even the slightest thought of greg, her whole body shuddered as well. she peeled her face from her palms so she could try and take a few deep breaths, and she did this, trying her best to calm herself. she hated crying, she never cried. she never ever cried until before she moved with greg, before ellie was diagnosed with cancer. since then, she'd cried a lot more. she'd break down when it came to ellie's cancer, and after she'd lost her, she'd break down at random points that wouldn't make sense to anyone but her. it would be something very small that would just push her over the edge and she'd start sobbing, she found it ridiculous. ellie actually nicknamed her 'the rock' for the first few years ryleigh lived with her, because ryleigh never cried in front of ellie or noah or anyone, really. she didn't cry in private much, either.


----- s t a t u s - donee.
----- t a g g e d - my twinnnn, kaylaaa !
----- w o r d s - 1125 .
----- o u t f i t - this, with bruises & suchh .
----- l y r i c s - every part of me - miley cyrus . ew, ik, but il this song <3
----- n o t e s - sucks compared to before, ik. but it's latee.

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[kenya miller .]

K ^{enya wished that she had grown up with her real mom and dad. She thought maybe it would've been eaiser on both of the girls. It seemed that these days they were going through the hardest stages of their lives. Well, that's how it was for Kenya. It seemed that she could never get a break from the hard life and that her once normal one was just slowly slipping away. She couldn't help but wish that she still lived in Dallas. It wasn't like she didn't love Chandler's family because she did, she just wanted to forget everything that she had caused for that family. There was that part of her that wanted to trade places with Travis, and have her be the one that died in car accident. There was actually a chance that she could've died the car hit them head on. What she didn't get about the accident was why didn't she die , also. Was there someone keeping her here on purpose? Kenya didn't even care, all she wanted to do was forget everything. But as far as she knew everything she once wanted to forget was up in her mind again and she couldn't stop forgetting about it. So basically that left her sad again, welll sad underneath everything. She wouldn't ever let anyone know what she was feeling inside. Kenya guessed that was because of the accident too. Since that day, she was totally a different person and it was something she needed to accept.}

T ^{he only thing that she had clostest to a mother now was Chandler's mom. Even though they weren't exactly family she knew that she was always going to be there for her. And that's why she was happy that she had been asked into that family. Chandler had always been like her big brother anyways so now that they were really family she couldn't have been happier. If there was one person that she could trust the most was Chandler. He once told her that he would be there for her even through all of the stupid things that he did say. That's what she loved most about him. At the end of the day, he was always by her side. She was very thankful that he had found her because for all she knew she could be in some foster home still. Or she could be another fake family like the Miller's were. Kenya didn't know why she even kept their last name. Probably because it was the only real family that she ever had. The De Forts' were great she wasn't going to lie but nothing in her heart would ever replace the Millers no matter how hard she tried too. Even though they treated her pretty bad sometimes it didn't mean that she didn't love them. But it clear in her head that they didn't ever love her they only adopted because Travis needed a sibling. Now that he was gone, they didn't need her anymore so they shipped her off to another home and forgot all about her. Kenya didn't even get to go to Travis's funeral session. Every part of her wanted to except her mind because she knew her mind was much smarter than what she really was. And still to this day she wondered what exactly went on at that funeral but she would never know.}

I ^{t was clear to her that would never be able to dance ever again. Dancing was her life a long time ago but she didn't think that would ever be able to go through it again. The pain that she caused one family acted upon her by her breaking her leg. The doctor claimed that she wouldn't be able to dance for a long time - and that it would be very rare if she made it back to dancing. No one ever came back from this sort of injury. She took this as a hint that she needed to move on with her life. But she just couldn't. The news nearly broke her heart into a million pieces. Obviously the doctor wasn't kidding when he said that she would crave dancing but she needed to be strong and defeat it. Every day she would get up and look around her bedroom. Since she couldn't walk down the stairs, the De Fort's gave her a room downstairs so that she wouldn't have to hurt herself even more by going down the stairs. But everyday, she walked up and down the stairs so that her leg could heal. She didn't tell anyone that because she knew that they would tell her that it was a very a stupid idea. They would tell her that it was only hurting her leg more. Kenya didn't really care she was hurting herself more, all she wanted to do was heal her leg. The doctor said that walking around would make it worse but she knew that walking around would only make her leg stronger and get her recovered faster. All this girl wanted to do was dance, couldn't anyone really understand this.}

T ^{here were a totalll of two people that stood by her this whole entire time. Actually three. Ryleigh, Tobias, and Chandler. Ryleigh was her sister and she needed her the most. Kenya knew that if anything ever happened to Ryleigh that she would be there for her every step of the way. Tobias, welll he was the one that was suppose to save her life. When her "parents' refused to let him help her, she was hurt. But it didn't mean that the two didn't stop talking. Actually, he was right by her side the whole way. They were best friends, but there was a part of her that liked him more than a friend. But that was something she had to keep to her self right now. Chandler, well he wasn't exactly there but when he was he was always encouraging her. And these people were the ones that she loved most in the world.}

K <sup>enya's eyes scanned her sister's face. The bruises on her face looked fresh, and she looked like she aching just about everywhere. Kenya couldn't help but feel a tear drop from her own eyes. Kenya didn't know exactly where she was hurting, and she didn't want to cause anymore pain, so she left her hands on her lap and not around her sister. She could hear her mumble some words through her tears and Kenya rubbd her own eyes that way she wouldn't start crying. "Did Greg, do this to you? " Were really the only words she could get out of her mouth.





tagged for , EVA , my long lost twin.
notes , i rambled a lot , sorry c:
words , 1322, i tried to wrap it up.
clothes , www.selenaonline.org/selenahq/displayimage.php?album=519&pos=0]something like this .
music , turn right , jonas brothers</sup>

[/sup]

[ryleigh malese valmont.]

----- sitting on the couch with her sister made her miss her sister even more, although she was right next to her. she missed seeing her every day or hanging out with her whenever. greg sometimes refused to let ryleigh go anywhere, it was ridiculous. when they were separated, ryleigh was depressed. she felt like she'd lost half of herself, even if her other half wasn't that far from her. of course, she talked to kenya, and that made it a lot better. but she still missed her sister, and as depressed as kenya seemed when she moved to santa monica, ryleigh was kind of glad. that was terrible, i mean, she was glad that her twin sister had gotten in a car crash that killed her brother and pretty much ruined her dance career ? of course she wasn't glad about that, she was just glad to have her sister back. it was selfish, but it was true, and ryleigh still hated seeing her sister so sad.

----- as kenya placed her hand on ryleigh's lap, she winced. she didn't quite understand why, it's not as if it hurt, she just felt awkward when anyone touched her anymore. she felt disgusting all the time, and she felt like everyone just - knew, even though they obviously didn't. ryleigh didn't know if she could handle it if anyone knew, to be honest. ryleigh felt her elbows beginning to dig into her thighs uncomfortably, so she pulled away and sat with her arms in her lap for a few moments, just staring in front of her . " did greg , do this to you ? " ryleigh heard her sister ask in what was pretty much identical to her own. she looked up and saw kenya rub her eye. why would kenya be crying, she thought. she was probably just tired. ryleigh had woken her up, it was probably very late, and now this made ryleigh feel bad. she shouldn't of bothered kenya, she needed her sleep.

----- to be honest, ryleigh was kind of mad that she'd woken kenya up. ryleigh hates to wake up, mostly because she loves to sleep, and usually the person who wakes her up is greg - and it's not at seven in the morning to get ready for school, either. it was more like two in the morning, and ryleigh dreaded those nights. but ryleigh loved sleeping. to her, it was an escape, and basically the only one she had. she liked to go to sleep, to close her eyes and let her mind wander to things that she wouldn't have to worry about when she dreamt. in her dreams, she could be anyone she wanted to be. she didn't have to be ryleigh valmont, she didn't have to have no parents, no family. she didn't have to live with an abusive fuck, and she didn't have to love her best friend and not be able to tell him. she could be a famous dancer, she could be a mother, ten years from now, five years, whatever. she could be a totally different person. she could be a beloved daughter, daddy's little girl, she could be an older sister that her younger siblings came running to with every problem they had, every time they were upset or maybe just wanted help tying their shoes. most of all, when she was asleep, ryleigh could honestly say that she wasn't afraid.

----- ryleigh's lips were dry and she had to lick them to be able to move her mouth at all, and she did so quickly. when she knew they would be able to move, to form words, her mind couldn't. she couldn't, she could say it in her head, it wasn't that difficult. yes. that's all she needed to say, and she knew she just needed to force it out of her mouth. " yes .. " she whispered, nodding her head a little in case kenya couldn't hear her. she tried to swallow and almost choked, realizing that her throat was closed up now from sobbing. her nose was stuffed up, her eyes wet and were still tearing up. ryleigh blinked them back, her brown eyes glistening from the tears as she looked away from her sister. she couldn't decide if she wanted kenya to know or not. " he .. uhhh. " she trailed off, pressing her face into her hands once again and her body shook from crying. she pulled her legs up onto the couch and wrapped her arms around them, pressing her face into her knees and sobbing.

----- sometimes, ryleigh wished she was dead. i know, it sounds terrible, but it's just how she is. she knows that death is big, she knows it means something, of course she does. but she knows that if she were dead, she could be with ellie, for one. for two, she could be away from greg. she would never ever have to worry if he had drank too much, if when she came home he'd be angry, if tonight he'd come into her bedroom. she wouldn't have to cover up for him every time he beat her, she wouldn't have to lie about falling down the stairs or falling off her bike. she didn't even have a bike, for god's sake. she wished to see ellie again, and she knew the only times she would ever see her again was when she was dead and gone, or in her dreams. sometimes, seeing her in memories and dreams and nightmares.. they just weren't good enough. she wanted the real thing.

----- of course ryleigh wondered what people would say at her funeral. everyone wondered that. she wondered if people would know by then, that greg abused her. she wondered if tristan would go, kenya, trevor, aspen. all of them. she couldn't picture chandler there, how he always joked around and made ryleigh laugh - him, serious, that would be pretty funny for her. she wondered who would talk. she wondered if trevor would know about her feelings for him yet. she wondered a lot of things, and what killed her was that she would never know them. because, well, it was her funeral. she couldn't know. she often wondered how she would die. i know, it's almost as terrible as wanting to die. would she get a disease and die slowly, like ellie ? would she die of old age , a car accident ? would greg go to far and beat her to death , or would she just give up and kill herself ? there were so many things that could happen, and she knew there would only be one. would her life flash before her eyes ? that actually may be the worst part of dying for her. because she'd remember everything, right ? being taken away from kenya, group homes, living with ellie, losing ellie, moving in with greg, being beaten, raped, it was all probably enough to want to kill herself two times over. the problem with that was that she only had one life to live.


----- s t a t u s - donee.
----- t a g g e d - my twinnnn, kaylaaa !
----- w o r d s - 1375 .
----- o u t f i t - this, with bruises & suchh .
----- m u s i c - no boundaries - kris allen .
----- n o t e s - i make these posts sound like a soap opera, lololol.

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